3.21.05: Remembered, Honored, Loved, and, Now, Never Forgotten

By: Missy Dodds

What it means to be Remembered, Honored, Loved, and Never Forgotten

When I was young, my grandmother always took us to visit the different family cemeteries. I can remember walking in the heat through the red clay of Southwest Arkansas. My Grandmother called this “paying our respects” and she had rules we had to follow. No walking on graves, pick up any trash, make sure all the flowers and vases were set up properly, and did I mention – don’t walk on the graves! As we walked past the different monuments – some headstones and some rocks – she would tell us stories of the family members each site represented. Sometimes she would laugh, and sometimes she would cry. It was not my favorite place to be, my mom hated it, but we all went along with her because we knew it was important to her.

Now, decades after her death, I get it. I understand the importance of why we visited those cemeteries and why “paying our respects” was so important.

20 years ago today, on March 21, 2005, the Red Lake High School Shooting forever changed my world and the world of the entire Red Lake community. Today marks the 20th Day of Remembrance.

Twenty years is a “big” one.

I am a bag of mixed emotions – sadness, grief, and, even sometimes anger, are still strong emotions I carry. I also carry peace, hope and, today, I carry pride for my school babies. They have found their voice.

Because of their hard work and strength, I am honored to announce we will have a permanent memorial “to honor all lives lost and changed forever on 3.21.05.”  The Red Lake Nation has given us land on the shores of the beautiful and healing Red Lake, we have been awarded one the Midwest Century grants from the Forecast Foundation, others have donated, and my school babies have worked tirelessly raising funds. We still have a way to go to reach our goal, and are grateful to be a component of the Northwest Minnesota Foundation where additional donations can be made as we continue our mission.

Our dream of having a permanent memorial will happen.

When a group of people have been through a traumatic event together, they must be validated. They must know that what they experienced was not normal. That it was horrific. They need it to be acknowledged that what they experienced was not normal. They also need a place where they can gather to heal. This is what a permanent memorial will do for all who were affected by the event on March 21, 2005.

On the day we learned we received the grant to begin our dream, I was in shock and crying happy tears – we would, now, not be forgotten. The next day, I could not get out of bed. The emotions were so big.

Memorials serve different purposes to different people.

For me, I am grateful. This memorial means that lives of the seven who were lost that day – Neva, Chase, Thurlene, DeWayne, Alicia, Chanelle, and Derrick – will forever be honored and remembered.

I am grateful there will be a section dedicated to all the first responders and law enforcement officers who answered the call and saved many lives that day.

I am grateful there will be a place where, as survivors, we can go to heal on the shores of Red Lake.

Since the news of the memorial, I’ve found myself sharing with my children – you will have a place to take your great grandkids and can say my mother was a part of this tragedy. In these moments, I realized what my grandmother had been teaching me all those years ago:

Missy Dodds is a survivor, educator, school safety advocate, and valued member of the Safe and Sound Schools community. As an outreach specialist and speaker, she courageously shares her lived experience to inspire hope, healing, and action.