Daffodils in December: A Sister’s Reflection on Grief, Growth, and Renewal

Honoring Josephine’s Life, Finding Resilience, and Discovering Hope Amid Loss

By: Marie Gay

My sweet sister Josephine—“Joey” to many who loved her—profoundly shaped who I am as a sister, daughter, friend, and human being. Her joy, her tragic passing, and her enduring spirit have each left a deep and lasting impact on the person I am today.

I keep Joey’s presence with me in many ways, but one of the most meaningful is a small narcissus flower tattoo I wear in her honor. The narcissus, or daffodil, is one of December’s birth flowers. It symbolizes the cycle of life and the promise of renewal. For me, these flowers represent both the pain of loss and the strength that comes from resilience.

Every December, as we celebrate Joey’s birthday, we are reminded of the joy she brought to our lives. Yet, the month also carries the weight of grief, as the anniversary of her passing approaches. December has become a reminder of milestones she will miss, holidays we wish we could spend together, and the heartbreak of a life cut far too short.

I’m sure that many of you who are grieving the loss of a loved one feel that similar lump in your throat when you celebrate a milestone. Receiving a degree, securing the job you have so badly wanted, buying a home, getting married, completing a marathon, or  overcoming personal challenges. Underneath those feelings of accomplishment and excitement is that lingering sting, that sting where you question how it would have felt to celebrate this milestone with your loved one.

For me, a recent milestone was my college graduation. The night before, I felt that ache—that small part of me that wished she were here, hoping that I made her proud, recognizing that she is the reason I went to college, and that she is the reason behind the career path I chose. In this painful moment, I was overcome with gratitude for Joey and all she has given me, which I can only hope to honor by sharing her story and carrying forward her beautiful legacy.

Shortly after graduating, I joined the team at Safe and Sound Schools to turn that promise into action. It was a chance to pursue meaningful work aligned with a cause so close to my heart.

Daffodils, despite the grief they remind me of, have come to symbolize so much more. They remind me of joy, faith, resilience, and growth. They remind me of Joey—her extraordinary life, her beloved classmates and teachers, and the light they brought to the world. Each year, these daffodils bloom again—growing, spreading, and standing stronger than before.

So now, when you see daffodils along the highway, deep in the woods, in gardens, or even in the most unexpected places, I hope you think of Joey, her teachers, and her friends. I hope they remind you, as they remind me, that beauty and loss can coexist—and that even in the hardest moments, there is always a promise of renewal.